As a drummer, you will hear an ongoing list of drummer jokes throughout your playing years. While some may well have a basis in fact and other musos think they are funny, for the most part, drummers laugh at them too.
Here's some to prepare you before they start getting thrown at you regularly.
What do you call a
drummer with half a brain?
What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
Why do bands have bass players?
What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
To translate for the drummer.
What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?
You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground.
You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once.
We know a guy who was so dumb his teacher gave him two sticks and he became a
drummer, but lost one and became a conductor.
Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in the car?
It took him half an hour to get the bass player out!
Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes?
Two cowboys were waiting in their fort for the Indians to attack. They listened
to the distant pounding war drums.
One cowboy muttered to the other, "I don't like the sound of them
Just then, a distant voice came over the hill, "It's not our usual
So they don't have to retrain the drummers.
If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.
How do you get a drummer to play an accelerando?
Ask him to play in 4/4 at a steady 120 bpm.
How do you know if a drummer's platform is level?
I asked my drummer to spell "Mississippi"...
He said, "the river or the state?"
The drool comes out of both sides of his mouth.
What do you call a dozen drummers at the bottom of the sea?
How do trumpet players park in the handicap spots?
They put drumsticks on the dash.
A good start!!
What's the difference between a drummer and Dr. Scholl's foot pads?
Did you hear about the drummer who got into college?
Neither did I.
Dr. Scholl's foot pads buck up the feet.
How many drummers does it take to wallpaper a room?
What is the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A drum machine can keep a steady beat and won't steal your girlfriend!
Three, if you slice them thin enough!
What do you call a drummer who's lost his girlfriend?
Why are drummers always losing their watches?
Everyone knows they have trouble keeping time.
What do you call 10
drummers sitting in a circle?
How do you confuse a drummer?
Give him a piece of sheet music.
A dope ring.
How can you get a drummer off your porch?
What is the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
One will mature and make money.
Pay for the pizza!
"Hey buddy, how late does the band play?"
How do you know when a drummers outside your door?
The knock gets faster.
"Oh, about a half beat behind the drummer."
A boy says to his mum, "Mum, when I grow up, I want to be a drummer." His mother scoffs and replies...
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
"Well, you can't do both."